Yes, Hydra, there is a Porn Claus

*Disclaimer: topic maybe inappropriate for work and for some TMI.*

Apparently when you ask Husband for Porn as a gift you get the actual gift you ask for. It comes with the video you wanted, two freebee videos that Hustler threw in, a book of Penthouse letters, sexy see-through nightgown from Victoria Secrets and knowledge that a few friends helped Husband to put it together.

Men listen to EXACTLY what you say. You just have to say something they feel like paying attention to. Repetition if not the answer … Content it.

A few weeks ago I was watching a TV special on the porn industry. I wish I could recall the name of it. It was extremely interesting. It was talking about how the DVD sales have plummeted with all the free porn on-line. It talked about the ways people like Vivid and stars like Jenna are changing. One of the topics was to compete with all the youtube home videos was the big budget porn Pirates 2: Stagnetti’s Revenge.

I didn’t know it was out!!

Screaming for Husband ensued and yelling and pointing at the TV happened. “Tell Porn Claus that is what I want!!” I was a fan of the first one if you couldn’t tell.

Porn Claus is actually a person. A name I have for a great friend. He is a long time friend for almost two decades. I don’t remember when it started but he gets me books, videos, and toys for gifts. It must have started after a few trips to LA stores.

Seriously if you have to be your own Porn Claus I highly recommend one.

He is also one of my Husbands comic book friends. This is only relevant because there is a group of guys, five including my husband, that are always looking out for me.

Husband told Porn Claus who told the other guys. They had to take multiple trips to pertinent stores just so I could have the gift I wanted. We are talking about places being sold out or completely overpriced.

Pirates I was told by all of them “The most expensive porn you could have asked for.” And one even said it was pretty standard porn. YES! Put they are pirates! Pretty dresses. And wigs. And sword fighting. And actual dialog. It is a 4 disk extravaganza.

With my new video in my hands I started reading all the packaging.
[Hydra] So it says 600 AMAZing special effects. You think any of the penises were special effected?
[Husband] *thinks* Only naturally effected.

I love the holidays.